self expression, sex expression

i feel so heavy

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think I am a failure for not being able to effectively get myself to orgasm.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed for not being effective at having/reaching orgasm.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define not having an orgasm or the ability to reach orgasm as a weakness or fault.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allwoed myself to not want to face this point.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think this point is ‘too hard’ to face/push thru.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think I should suppress this point and ignore it.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to attempt to orgasm from a starting point other than self-expression.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think I need to reach/have orgasm for any reason or justification.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to attempt to reach/have orgasm from the starting point of pleasing someone else, doing it for someone else, and not as self-expression as me here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deliberately force myself to attempt to orgasm.

I forgive msyelf that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to desire to have an orgasm from a starting point of proving that I can.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed msyelf to compare my sexual expression to another’s.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge my sexual expression in comparison to another’s.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a reason/justification why I must have an orgasm.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to desire to have an orgasm fro a starting point of proving my ‘sexuality’, my ‘effectiveness at being sexual’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define ‘sexuality’ as being effective at getting myself to have an orgasm.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think I need to prove that I am a concept/construct design of ‘sexual’.

I  forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowe dmyself to define not achieving orgasm as a failure.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed msyelf to define myself as a failure for not being able to get myself to have an orgasm.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted anda llwoe dmyself to determine ‘selfworth’ according to whether or not I can get myself to have an orgasm.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to desire others to see me as a system design of ‘sexual’.

I forgive msyelf that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally express myself here, with no limitations.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed msyelf to fear not being able to get myself to have an orgasm.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think I am not able to ‘satisfy’ myself sexually. I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allwoed myself to think I need to be sexually ‘satisfied’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘satisfying’ myself sexually.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think it is inappropriate to please myself sexually.

I forgive msyelf that I have accpeted and allwoed myself to program myself to react in judgment towards sexually pleasing myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allwoed myself to form a defined construct of what ‘sexually pleasing myself’ is.

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