Archive for January, 2011
So I have recently pushing this point of correcting my posture. For many many years I have been a ‘sloucher’. Since about my early teens, back in the ’90s in the ‘grunge’ era where being ‘jaded’ or ‘apathetic’ was just starting to be cool, lol. Like it showed an ‘air’ of ‘nonchalance’ so to speak.
Anyhoo, I’ve been pushing myself to sit up straight, I find breathing really helps, extensively so, in releasing points of tension, and basically in ‘finding’ the position in which to ‘hold’ myself, so to speak, where it feels most supportive for my body. Also, reading about the Alexander Technique has been really supportive also, as the point of it is about realizing how you use your body, and also key practical points about how to move in a physical human body, which is specifically designed, and thus there is specific ways that’s most effective to move within and as your physical human body.
What I’d noticed within how I’d slouch, is it’s like I’d literally sort of take the upper part of my body and like, ‘rest’ it on top of the lower. Like just ‘stacking’ it on top, in a way, wherein this seemed ‘easier’ as if it took ‘less effort’ because I didn’t have to ‘hold up’ the top of my body, because I didn’t have to use muscles to hold myself upright, therefore slouching seemed ‘more comfortable’. However, over time of participating in slouching, things get out of place and get rather uncomfortable and will continue to get worse, because as I spoke about in my last vlog, it accumulates over time, and by the time you get to ‘old age’ there is all sorts of problems that it’s quite possibly ‘too late’ to really ‘fix’ or undo.
I was getting a bit frustrated, because I’d try to sit with good posture but after a little while I’d start to really want to slouch and I’d feel really uncomfortable even to the point of pain. But I’ve continued to push this point anyway, and through the process of accumulation I’m able to sit with ‘good’ posture for longer. Then ‘finally’, earlier today, I realized that of course it gets uncomfortable after a bit, because I have to build these muscles back up again since I haven’t really been using them all these years, because I’d just been slouching everything and not using the muscles to support myself. So, it has been really cool to again, realize this point of accumulation, that it’s not that I’m doing anything wrong, because I’d thought maybe I wasn’t getting the posture right and that’s why it would become painful, but rather it makes perfect sense because I’m so not used to sitting up straight that the muscles weakened. And so, a behavior that I initially thought was ‘easier’ and was ‘saving me energy’ has actually resulted in ‘more effort’ and difficulty. And I realized that the pain and discomfort was/is actually a sign that I’m on the right track. It shows that I am pushing and therefore that I am actually moving and creating change. And if I was not moving myself/pushing myself to a point where I’ll actually change, then I wouldn’t feel pain I’d feel just as I did before, thus the pain is a cool indicator that I am moving to affect change, thus to just keep it up consistently, and it’ll accumulate as I walk.
So, would have been better to have been supporting myself all along. and that is a fascinating point I had realized when first exploring this point of my posture, a couple years or so ago, and realizing that I was slouching and basically just letting the top half of me just ‘sag’ like a sack of potatoes, was that I quite literally hadn’t been ‘supporting’ myself, even in terms of how I was experiencing myself back then, where there were so many mental pressures ‘getting to me’ at that time in my life, when I began to slouch. I didn’t know how or thus have a way to support myself, and I literally ‘buckled’ under all the weight of the inner burdens I was carrying. Burdens that were just getting bigger and heavier over time, since I hadn’t done anything to deal with them, and let go of the excess baggage, and stop continually collecting more, just progressively piling it on.
And therefore, when I went to start correcting my posture, and first faced this point of now actually ‘picking myself up’ and supporting myself, initially I just wanted to ‘give up’ and ‘give in’ and not support myself because it was ‘hard’ and painful. But I didn’t accept that. Because I’ve made the decision to support myself in all ways. So I pushed, and I walked, and I breathed through the resistances, and forgave the thoughts that came up, and now I am really starting to see the cumulative effects, seeing that I have made actual change.
It is so..’liberating’ and wonderful, to be taking on these points of habits and behaviors which I’d thought were just a part of who I was that I couldn’t change, and to see that in fact I can change these points, and can let go of these points which were not supporting me, proving to myself that I can change, which takes consistency and dedication and if you keep walking it eventually it will be just like a part of who you are, just like I thought the previous behaviors were, it’s just that point of accumulation, it’s how it works.
I’ve just started watching the recent State of the Union Address by Obama, and I will write about a point that’s come up ‘right off the bat’ within the first couple minutes, as I am waiting for the rest of the video to finish buffering, lol. The president is just getting started and he says that over the last two years debates have been contentious and “we have fought fiercely for our beliefs, and that’s a good thing.”
Now, for anyone who is able to look at this world in common sense, and sees what ‘beliefs’ actually are, it will be quite easy for you to see the deception within this point. It’s pointless to be fighting over ‘beliefs’ a belief is a thought and a thoughts not real so why are we fighting over this shit? What are we really fighting over? Personal interests, and that is not cool, it means each is fighting for themself and against the ‘other’, and this is in the core of our very government- how our entire nation is run and controlled by, the very foundation, is built on fighting each other? This is evidence of a sick and dis-eased people, this kind of behavior, that we can’t get along and work together. Its like if we were one human body we’d be stabbing ourself in the eye, or gnawing our own leg off, and that’s in-fact what we are doing, when we accept this point of fighting one another, we are attacking ourself, and when you look at the big picture of it, it looks pretty fucking stupid. Not a sign of an intelligent race, no wonder we are hoping that there is some actually ‘intelligent’ aliens out there that’s going to come and ‘straighten’ us out, but if we have a look we will see that it doesn’t work that way, you can’t have someone ‘else’ come and rescue you from yourself. That this doesn’t in any way work is quite evident in for example our relationship to our government where we have made the government this point thatis supposed to take responsibility ‘for us’ and we can here see the consequences of that, within most people being disgruntled towards the government and unsatisfied with how things are being done, and this perception is started within the family structure where the children will blame the parents who is in charge of them, and thus ‘learn’ to blame and put responsibility on the ones that’s ‘in charge’ of them, instead of developing the ‘ability’ to consider things from a point of self responsibility, where, then, self is actually able to effect change in their world within the realization of how one create their world.
Obama says that “this is a good thing. It’s what helps set us apart as a nation.” and that is quite true, but not how he means it- this point of acceptance of fighting as a necessary and ‘good’ thing, indeed supports ‘separation’ and is the same fundamental point within how we have separated ourselves into various ‘nations’ and then compete with one another as these separate ‘nations’, just like teams in sports, and it’s the same on the level as nations as it is within our own government, as I have recently been learning about in school, how this competition point is so extensively ‘built right in’ into our very governmental structure where it is competitions between ‘opposing’ parties, showing that even within our own government, we are ineffective at working together as a group, and doing what’s Best for All.
It’s time we Stand Up and Correct ourselves to no longer accept this point of fighting each other as ‘human nature’ and create a political party whose purpose and principle is to do what’s Best for All, and within that there is obviously no fighting necessary, as there is nothing to fight for that is being taken away from one by another in self-interest, thus there is no one ‘opposing’ another and ‘fighting’ simply becomes Irrelevant. That is the World I’d like to live in, and why I support an Equal Life Party to make it happen.
Here is a couple cool videos on YouTube to check-out in relation to this topic:
So I was looking at this point of if you took all that I’ve consumed in my life, and the labor that it took for all that to be available to me, and then take all the labor I have done in my life, and I wonder would it be equal?
In the time that I’ve labored, have a labored enough to build a house? To build a car? A refrigerator? A swing set? A bike? An oven? A chair? A bed? A pillow? A computer?
From one perspective I would say no, I have not labored as much as it took to create the things I have used in my life, considering what labor has been like, you know, considering all the points of how we humans have accepted and allowed labor to be like. For example, with the ‘outsourcing’ that goes on where a country hires workers in another country where the rules are less strict and the workers have less rights and therefore the companies can pay the workers less and the workers have less or no rights to protect them from abusive working conditions. And the obvious driving point behind the companies is profit, and therefore the companies will strive for a ‘kind of’ efficiency- an efficiency which is based on cost to the company, cost in terms of money, and therefore this doesn’t mean that actual real ‘efficiency’ is strived for, in terms of doing something in ways that is the most effective, taking everything into consideration, and thus the ‘corporate version’ of efficiency often does not consider what is best for the workers themselves, the ones that is providing the actual labor. Any apparent benefits to the workers that come from improvements is from the starting point of getting more production out of them then actual concern for the workers, and therefore any ‘benefits’ are basically ‘by accident’.
So all things considered, if we were able to implement all the technology we have, and actually take ourselves to a point where we actually are efficient, where we create things that last, that actually last, and aren’t actually ‘Built to Fail’, and have the best conditions possible to work in, where everyone has the most effective equipment and gear to work with, if we really applied ourselves, then how much labor would it take to make all the things I have used in my life?
Obviously much much less then it did. This is the kind of life we can look forward to in an Equal Money System, this is where this will be possible, and until we change the money system to one based on Equality, we will be stuck in this ineffectiveness and abusive working situations, where even in the ‘best of cases’ if you are not somehow endowed with large sums of money, you will be forced to work until you’re too old and tired to put out anymore and then hopefully you’ve saved enough money or there will be some social security still so you can get money to live off of from those who are still able to slave in the system.
Wow, you know, its just like in poor countries where they will have children in the hopes the children will make money to support them when they’re old. It is exactly the same thing as social security, the only difference is instead of the kids taking directly from the parents, we make it ‘less obvious’ by throwing all the money together in one pot and then drawing from that. Lolol.
Those of us who are ‘elite’ meaning those of us in the rich countries, the difference that separates us from the elites of the past who had actual slaves is we have simply found ways to ‘hide’ the slavery from our sight, so we can delude ourself it doesn’t exist. Quite Deluded indeed. Why would we not want to see what’s actually going on? Because we know it’s fucked up. So if you’re tired of this shameful existence of manipulation and abuse stand up and support an Equal Money System, so we can for once, Exist in Dignity.
There is so little time to do what I like, to do the things I’d like to do, things which don’t take labor, other’s labor, so they don’t need to take money, cuz you don’t have to buy another’s labor, but we have to spend so much time making money to pay for things on which the labor has already been done and paid for. Like paying rent, the house is built and the workers who built it and the workers who gathered and prepared the resources, none of them are being paid anymore, the money is now going to someone else who is not doing any labor. What kind of a fucked up world is this? What kind of a fucking joke is this? This is some evil shit. Some Evil, Spiteful shit. And we are some Stupid Fuckers for participating in and accepting a system in which we trade our labor for nothing. The whole system as it currently exist, is based on inequal transactions, it’s a basic mathematical principle that is not hard to understand, that in order for some to make fortunes, it must come from inequal deals. To continue to accept this is self-abuse. To support this current system as it is which has been designed around inequality and has been used and manipulated by those benefitting from the inequality to protect themselves so they can further fuck those on the losing end, is to be supporting your own enslavement, is to support yourself to be fucked by this system as well. And if you are not one of the ones being fucked by this system and you are supporting this system, then you expose yourself for what your true interest is and that is yourself and only yourself, and a warning to those who choose the path of self-interest in spite of others, is that those ‘others’ are in fact the majority and as more and more the veils are lifted and the truth of what is going on is exposed, we will no longer stand for this abuse, and abusers will be dealt with as they have Proven that they are Not able to Live Here in Equality with Other Beings without Abusing, and that is Unacceptable. Show that you Stand for What is Best For All, support an Equal Money System – a system based on the Principle of Equality, so that Life can be Enjoyable for All, not only some at the cost of others.
“Did you find what you needed?” asked the cashier at the grocery store, as item after item passed over the scanner with that familiar “beep”. In that moment I could see the places where that is not asked, where you are starving, everyday, all your time is about finding the next ‘meal’, and no one gives a fuck if you “found what you needed?”
What if we asked those whose life is a constant struggle to survive? And why don’t we ask them? Why aren’t we asking them right now? Because we know full well, we don’t have to ask, we know that no, they are not finding what they need and they are suffering and starving to death.
There have been times in my life where I didn’t have any money, at all, and the thing about having no money, is that it means you have no access. No access to the systems which provide the Life Support that one needs, that one requires, to live in the physical. You can go into a store, you can look at all the food, you can be hungry, and yet- you can’t eat. It’s quite a fucked up situation. And physically uncomfortable. Being hungry is not a pleasurable experience. And I mean real hunger, where your body is requiring sustenance and not getting it, not like cravings, like when you’re addicted to some kind of food or taste or substance like sugar, you know, when you need food so bad that it ‘doesn’t matter’ what it is, so long as its edible. Doesn’t matter if its not the best food for your body or what your body would really prefer, its beyond that point, you just need food. To be at that point, and not have money, not any money, not even 50 fuckin cents, you come face to face with what’s it’s like to have no options.
It’s not a mystery what happens if you don’t get food. I would think that that is probably one of The Most Commonly Known Things. The way we’re running things in this world, it’s like we’re trying real hard to pretend we Don’t know. Half the world’s population is living in stark poverty and we act like everything’s just great, I mean, there’s even bumper stickers that say “Life is Good”- what a fat fuckin lie that is. It should say “Life is Good- FOR ME” cuz that’s what it is actually saying. And shows the extent to which we’ve become so separated from the rest of the world, focused only on our own little ‘bubble’ of existence, not even seeing or understanding just how limited and diminished it is to exist in this tiny little bubble practically all alone and completely insignificant to this world.
Just the other day I was in a grocery store I had never been to, and the produce section, well much of it was going bad, the lettuces and the broccoli and the strawberries and peaches and just about everything was looking pretty wilty, and it just amazes me how much food gets directed to our stores, so much, more than is even needed, because profit is trying to be gained, there is so much, what is it called, it’s like, something like ‘accepted losses’, losses which is planned in, and it’s all calculated so that a profit can still be made. Thus its not distributed according to what we need, but it’s all directed according to where profit can be made, and thus if there is no profit to be made in place, that is, if the people don’t have any money or don’t have very much, the food doesn’t go there. So the food ‘pools’, so to speak, and then there is excess which just ‘sloughs off’, it goes bad and is disposed of. This is pointless.
We can have a system which isn’t so stupid. Really. I mean look- if we ‘able’ to have one that is so fuckin difficult to maintain requiring so much excess labor to ‘make a living’, using up extensive resources faster than is sustainable, obviously we can make things much more effective and thus much easier, I mean, the majority of us has to slave away until you are so old you can’t anymore. What kind of a life is this? It’s not, it’s not what I’d call life, what I’d call actually ‘Living’, it is rather, like slowly Dying. How long are we gonna continue to accept things this way?
For a long time I didn’t see any solution or think that it was even possible to change things. I thought it was hopeless because what can one person do alone? Yes well one person alone cannot do diddly-squat. That’s why we are joining together, to stand up and make a difference, to stand up and be the change we want to see in this world. It’s one thing to want a better system, but we have to actually do it, actually make it. We have to actually stand up, stop accepting ourselves as enslaved and limited, and actually do what it takes to bring about a new system, one that will actually effectively support life. This is why we are developing the Equal Money System. As a system based on the fundamental principle of Equality, it is the only current valid solution.
Yesterday at a point I realized that I had been studying about the subject of how to make/start a business and had been doing so, plugging away through various articles and information and was ‘taken by surprise’ in a way, that I had been going-at-it studying this topic without even ‘thinking about it’, because in the past this is not the sort of thing I would ‘want’ to seek out to study, and would have experienced the studying/reading with resistance, where, it would have felt ‘difficult’ to stay focused and there would be points coming up of thoughts like ‘pulling’ me away from the research.
So, this was yet another moment of realizing/seeing how I have changed thus far in process, where resistances are disappearing and simply falling away and I ‘forget’ they were even ever there. Quite fascinating. And quite enjoyable. And quite cool. To just be able to do what it is I’d actually like to do, that which is actually practical to do, wherein in this case, I saw it would be cool to understand how to make/have a business and I simply went into researching that point and there was never a point of hesitation or resistance to do so or while doing so.
Before I came across Desteni and began this process of becoming aware of myself as how I currently exist, I was afflicted with the point of severely diminished and limited attention span. I have been correcting this point since I realized what a limitation this was, to the point where I actually experienced physical difficulty and found myself unable to focus on something for an amount of time without becoming distracted to the point where I’d just give up on whatever I was trying to work with. I had practically stopped reading books, I had no attention span for that- I didn’t want to ‘waste’ time with just print on a page, when I can be watching videos which have pictures and sounds which are ‘far more interesting’- hahaha- I was addicted to pictures and sounds and created such a resistance to where I couldn’t ‘be bothered’ to just READ something.
At first it didn’t even ‘occur’ to me that this was a limitation, I thought it was ‘what I wanted’, like that I ‘should/ought’ to or that it ‘made sense’ to prefer things that I’d defined as ‘more entertaining’ such as videos- I mean, if it didn’t have pictures and sounds then I just assumed almost on a subconscious level even that ‘why would I be interested in this?’ But when I realized that I had gotten to a point where I was no longer really learning anything or was even able to effectively study anything- well this really Pissed Me Off.I mean, I thought I was a ‘smart person’ and here I couldn’t even study anything with commitment and attention.
School, being in college has been really assisting in this point, haha, of course it has, because it is in school that I really had to face this point of really ‘buckling down’ and within deadlines must effectively learn/process information. So I’ve had to push through resistances toward that, which was pretty extensive, as I’d built up a resistance toward specifically ‘homework’, ‘doing homework’, where I’d experience quite a strong resistance when preparing to do some homework or study or do the assigned reading, where it felt like a ‘pulling’ like a ‘force’ actually pulling me away from the work at hand. But I did not accept this, because otherwise I may as well give up and that’s in essence what I had done already within what I had ‘built up/accumulated’ by participating in these points of resistance for so long, where I had perpetuated this behavior to the point that it had become programmed in.
So now I am ‘busy’ unprogramming these resistances, and it is so cool to be expanding myself, rather than diminishing. Writing/blogging is so assisting in this point as well. I’ve had to push myself to write and still do and the resistance is becoming less. Especially when I remember that the point of writing is to assist myself, is to use writing as self-assistance in expanding myself in terms of becoming effective at expressing myself within and as the written word. Sometimes I fall into a point of seeing writing as a chore that I must force myself to do, lol, and by doing that I yes will get some experience with writing and expressing myself but it will be somewhat ‘by accident’, and I would rather walk this point as and within a point of self-direction, wherein I am the directive principle and I am doing this for myself in awareness of why I am doing it. And when I realize/remember how effectively supportive a tool writing is that I can utilize to expand myself, it’s like, why was there even resistance? It comes back to that point of I’ve defined ‘entertainment’, the ‘relationship’ I’ve been towards that, and what I’ve defined as ‘entertaining’. I have proven to myself that those points are not valid, and now it is simply a process of remaining consistent within that realization to support myself to continue pushing/walking through til these points will, inevitably, be gone and no longer relevant.
I am in an interesting position which is that I have a long commute to and from work, I travel across about 50 miles (so it’s about 100 miles round-trip) and since taking the big highway costs over $5 a day, most of the time I take alternate routes which are free but take longer, even though it’s less miles but you can’t go as fast as on the big highway. So throughout my journey I pass thru several counties, many towns, and from one state to another.
For the first few years of doing this commute I just paid the tolls and took the big highway, trying to ‘save as much time as possible’ and didn’t consider whether there might be another way because I wasn’t really that experienced with the roads/areas and just kind of going on assumptions and impressions I got from one of my coworkers who I used to carpool with before I had gotten my own car who also lived in the same house as me. I was in a ‘subservient’ position I guess you can call it, where I was like ‘under a spell’ of accepted self-belief thru which I extremely limited myself. Where I basically defined myself as ‘having no right’- having no right to think or speak about or effect in any way or direct in anyway, the point of commuting, while I was not a car owner myself, and thus simply a ‘dependant’ on the other person. And I used my inexperience with driving/navigation as another point to justify self-limitation, wherein I ‘didn’t see myself’ as ‘having anything to say’ or ‘being able to contribute’ in any way to the commuting ‘process’ in terms of, for example, deciding/considering which way to go- this point was only in the ‘power’ of the other within them being the owner of the car and them being older and thus ‘having more experience’ and I hadn’t had a car for several years, maybe five or so years, and my previous driving experience, when I did have a car or had access to a car, was not ‘extensive’. It was thru these points that I ‘told myself’ I had no right/ability to contribute in any way, other than simply doing the simple point of sharing the basic labor of the driving itself. So within this point I was basically completely suppressed, completely suppressing myself from being here and being able to have any directive effect on my world. I also used this point of ‘dependence’ as a point to ‘inferiorize’ myself, so to speak, wherein I would judge myself for my inequal position compared to my coworker who did have a car, and I see now how I was the one creating that point, that whole point of polarity of inferiority/superiority, wherein- I felt/perceived myself to be inferior because I perceived the other to be superior- I was literally placing them in a position of ‘superiority’ wherein I had ‘given’ them ‘all the power’, all the ‘authority’, all the ‘ability’, to direct the point of commuting, and thus this of course resulted in me feeling ‘powerless’, and ‘having no right’ or ability, because that is what I had literally done to myself, I had literally ‘decided’ in my mind that in this situation for such and such reasons, I ‘cannot’ direct and ‘have no power/ability’. What a fuck-up.
The build-up and compounding of this point, these feelings, pushed me into getting a car, I was literally ‘desperate’ to get a car, to be ‘able’ to ‘take back’ this this point of direction, and I eventually did. And the first few years I basically continued jst I had when I had been carpooling- going the same way, out of an assumption of ‘it must be the best way’ since that person who I placed as ‘more than me’ seemed to think this was the best way, therefore ‘who am I to challenge/question that’. And even some conversations had come up about a different route to take and they had expressed they don’t think it’s practical to go that way because it takes longer, and I just sort of blindly accepted this justification, like ‘of course you wouldn’t want it to take longer’.
Which leads me to an interesting ‘mathematical’ point I have realized- within the context of mathematically trying to ‘work-out’ what is the ‘best/most effective’ option in regards to ‘spending time’, wherein there is an equation which is used which is the “Time = Money” equation. Wherein, this equation is used for determining ‘how much’ in terms of ‘imcome/money’ a certain period of time is worth- for example when calculating between say, two different ways to commute to work, and one way takes 1 hour and costs $5 in tolls, and the 2nd way takes 1 hour and 20 mins but costs no tolls- then you work out according to how much you earn at your job per hour, how much ’20 mins’ is worth- so, for example, say you earn $12/hr, then 20 mins = $4, so then, according to this math you would then reason that the 1st way ‘costs’ 1 hour of time plus $5, and the 2nd way ‘costs’ 1 hour of time plus ‘$4’- therefore the 2nd way is better to go.
However, the equation is not complete. There is a point that is missed, which is that you cannot work ‘unlimited’ time- there is a limit to how many hours you are able to work, whether it is how much you can physically do, or how many hours are available at your job to work, or how many hours they are willing to pay you for, there is a limit, so it is erroneous to simply ‘count/value’ all your time spent in terms of how much you ‘could be making’ if it was time spent working at your job, because there is actually only a limited amount of time you can spend working. So, how this math falls short, if this point is not considered, is where, for example, taking the same example above but with different figures- if the 1st route is 1 hour and $5 tolls, and the 2nd route is 1 hour and 45 mins- now the second way ‘costs’ 1 hour plus ‘$7.50’, therefore the 1st way is apparently ‘better’- however, in actual reality and not just some crazy hypothetical-math-terms, when you consider there is a finite limit to the money you can make, then- the 1st way is costing you $5 and the 2nd way is costing you NONE. It doesn’t matter how much you ‘could hypothetically make’ in that ‘amount of time’ that the 2nd route takes beyond the 1st route, because there is only a finite amount you can make, period. Considering that, then it just might make more sense to opt for the ways that don’t cost money so that you can use more of the Finite amount you Can get for more effective things.
Anyway, to ‘top this off’, basically the point is, don’t ‘get lost’ in some mental calculating system which doesn’t Consider ALL Points. Unless ALL points is Considered- the Calculations is Invalid.
Ok, this is just some points that have come up thru this point of the commuting I do, there will surely be more to come