Misery asks for My Gentle Mind

Lately, a song that’s been going round in my head is the song “Misery is a Butterfly” by Blonde Redhead. I enjoy singing the song as its in a high pitch which is fun to do once in a while, for me with a fairly high voice range. Specific bits of this song will just ‘pop up’ lately, and so I’m having a look at what might be ‘behind’ that, so to speak. The specific lines that ‘pop up’ are:

Remember, when we found Misery?
We watched her, watched her spread her wings
And slowly, slowly fly around our room
And she asked for your Gentle Mind..

So when I look at these words, and consider whats going on in my life right now and how I’m experiencing myself, I have been feeling kind of overwhelmed with all the things I’m taking on, and trying to do, and having fears and worry that I won’t be able to do it all, and thus my experience of myself has been quite ‘miserable’. And after writing about this point of overwhelmed-ness on the desteni forum, I came to the point where I realized that I can just do what I can and that’s it, there’s no point to worry about it, and within this I see how I was not being gentle with myself, that I’ve been sort of ‘cruelly’ pushing myself, because that’s how the system works, that’s what the system will do, it will eat you up and spit you out and then run you over on it’s neverending path of abuse, but this doesn’t mean I must do the same to myself, because either I can ‘make it’ or I can’t. There’s no need for me to generate feelings about it, such as fears and worries, those are irrelevant and thus not real. So the Misery I’ve been going through, has literally been asking for my ‘Gentle Mind’, for me to be gentle with myself, and not torture myself through my mind as thoughts feelings and emotions. The thoughts and fears are actually only making things more difficult anyway, in fact, thus working to create that which I am fearing in the first place.
So, I can remember this point of gentleness with myself, and apply what I’ve realized in moments where I find myself in Misery, to support myself to not create such a miserable and unnecessary experience for myself. Thanks Misery

full lyrics to the song:

Dearest Jane I should’ve known better
But I couldn’t say hello, I don’t know why
But now I think, I think you were sad
Yes you were, you were, you were

What I say, I say only to you
Cause I love and I love only you
Dearest Jane, I want to give you a dream
That no one has given you

Remember when we found misery
We watched her, watched her spread her wings
And slowly, slowly fly around our room
And she asked for your gentle mind

Misery is a butterfly
Her heavy wings will warp your mind
With her small ugly face
And her long antenna
And her black and pink heavy wings

Remember when we found misery
We watched her, watched her spread her wings
And slowly, slowly fly around our room
And she asked for your gentle mind
Gentle mind, gentle mind

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