You know what is so interesting, is how I am experiencing how I eat, and who I am within how I eat now, which is very different from how I used to be. For example, I was recently at the grocery store just doing some shopping, and I thought, you know, I’d like ‘a treat’. But there wasn’t anything particular in mind, so as I walked down the isles I was considering- what exactly is it I could have for a ‘treat’.
Right away, I already know that virtually anything in the entire store that might be defined as ‘treat-like’ is going to have sugar in it – the typical refined sugar and probably lots of it. It’s probably also going to have wheat flour, and possibly milk or cream as well. After all I’ve done over the last couple years in regards to my diet, and becoming more aware of what I eat and why I eat, a lot of the attraction that I had to foods that contained those ingredients just totally disappeared. But it’s not like it just vanished out of the blue, oh no-
I had built up a relationship to these foods, these foods had been what I’d always eaten, literally, my whole life. I mean, if you have a look- most foods in the store today contain those ingredients- sugar, wheat, and milk. In fact, for anyone who has tried, you know it is actually quite difficult to find foods that do not contain one or all of those ingredients, sugar being perhaps the most pervasive.
So, these were the foods I’d ‘grown up with’. In other words, I was ‘comfortable’ with these foods, I was ‘used to’ them. It was what I’d come to expect and accept as a ‘normal part’ of a ‘normal diet’. It was what everyone else was eating, too. So, really, there didn’t seem to be anything to question about it, and thus it was simply taken for granted.
When I realized, however, that these preferences were actually based in the past, and were just based on memories, I decided to experiment and test and see whether these preferences were actually ‘real’ preferences, or if they were just ‘illusory’- especially when I also realized that I’d always based my preferences on, predominantly, whether or not I ‘like the taste’, and for the most part, totally disregarding how it made me feel after the initial eating, you know, how did it effect my body, what was it like to digest it? How did I actually feel afterward?
I was actually quite shocked to have so missed this point, which seems like such an obvious point now, but one I had really not considered. Nobody else was concerned about it either- everyone only ever mentioned how something tasted, not so much what it felt like after, except for maybe beans, as that tends to have a rather humorous effect on most people!
For the most part, it’s all about ‘oh, this tastes sooo good’, or ‘oh, that look so yummy’, which is interesting to consider how does something ‘look’ tasty? And this is largely how we’ll eat, how we’ll determine what to eat, we’ll think about what we’d like to ‘taste’. In fact, most of the time, I was actually ignoring what effect the food might have on my body, because I was literally putting the fixation with certain ‘tastes’ as the top priority, and therefore I’d eat things that I thought tasted good, but that I wouldn’t feel too good after eating. I found this to be quite a bizarre way to behave actually, once I really looked at what I was doing.
And so began my process of realizing who I was in regards to eating and food, and there is much more to follow as I will share what I have discovered as a result of experimenting and becoming aware of myself, so stay tuned..
to be continued..