Self-Forgiveness

feeling like i should give up russian- i just don’t have what it takes- i’m wasting my time- i’m embarrassing myself

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for ‘taking too long’ to understand.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allwoed myself to jgude myself for ‘taking too long to understand’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was/am ‘taking too long to understand’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to project my own judgments of judging myself as ‘taking too long to undersand’ onto another, fearing that they may think/feel/judge me for/as ‘taking too long to understand’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give power and validation to the judgment and perception that ‘I am taking too long to understand’.

I forgive myself that within this I have validating and given permission to ‘judging oneself for/as taking too long to understand’.

I forige myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in and live as this abuse.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that all judgments I fear are projections which I am projecting and thus creating myself, myself creating the judgments toward myself which I fear another will judge me as/for. It is only ever me, only I can judge myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious and panicky in reaction to the fear of another judging me, as the relection of my own self judgment.

I forgiv myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear myself, to fear my ability and power to judge myself, to create judgment toward myself and live itinto existence, to be actually the creator and the one who validates and empowers these judgments which are extensively self-abusive.

I Stand here in All-Ways as what I Accept and Allow. It is up to me what I will accept and allow, what I will validate, what I will give power to, thus it is up to me to stop all that which is self-abusive. I am responsible for myself, and for how I experience myself, no other is responsible nor can be.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand as that which I will accept and allow- to stand as the directive point, to stand and direct my world, as self as my starting point as equal to all life. To stand absolute as who I am and what I stand for, in each moment. To stand as self-trust, here, without fear, in each and every moment. I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand equal to this world and direct it. I stand and direct my world as equal to myself- I no longer accept and allow myself to be siply a victim or just an observer. I no longer accept myself as less than life. I no longer judge myself as less than life. I Stand Here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear ’embarrassing’ myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate and support the concept of ’embarrassment’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to support the concept of ’embarrassment’ to exist, when it is simply a concept of the mind with the purpose only of self-abuse and limitation.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed msyelf to realize that the concept/experience of ’embarrassment’ only exists within myself within the mind and is not real in fact. Thus there is never a valid reason/excuse/justification to participate in such concept- living it into ‘existence’ by accepting it and living as it myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think ‘I just don’t have what it takes’. This is irrelevant- I don’t need to ‘have’ what it takes- I need to ‘Do’ what it takes- it thus becomes a simple math equation- I walk the steps required 1 by 1, 1 + 1, until it is done. Or I don’t. It’s that simple. There is no excuses required to make one choice or the other, such as the excuse ‘I just don’t have what it takes’.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to slow down and walk each moment here, and stop accepting thoughts which tell me I don’t have enough time, or I am wasting time, or that I wish I had more time. There is no time. There is the time that there is, and being pulled around by thoughts in my mind about it does not more time create. I am in an infinite moment and time is of the mind. We will have to walk the time until it unwinds.