So, I’ve been practicing singing a lot lately- something that I’ve ‘always wanted to do’ – and within that was part of the ‘problem’ as to why I never seemed ‘able to do it’ and why/how I formed a perception of myself as ‘not able to do it’.
See, what I’d done is already judged myself before I’d even begun- as if somehow one should be able to just sing effectively immediately- I didn’t yet fully realize the point of that it requires deliberate consistent practice and training. I had fallen into this belief that those who were good at it ‘just were’. And that is how it would often be presented as well- by others and with my myself too where if I was asked how I was able to do something well, I’d say something like “gee, I don’t know, I just can”- thus supporting the idea that it ‘just happens’ like as if ‘by magic’ or just ‘automatically’- as if you either ‘can’ or you ‘can’t’.
This perception has really screwed with me and how I view the ‘ability’ to sing- wherein I then didn’t focus or concentrate fully on the point of practicing and training and drilling- as that’s what’s actually required to become effective at something.
From this ‘mis-perception’ that one should ‘already’ or ‘automatically’ have the ability, I formed self beliefs that I ‘was not able’ wherever/whenever I would try something and fail. I took this ‘failure’ to mean- I must not be ‘able’ to do it. Man- what a fuck-up that is! Considering that one must train to get effective at something, chances are sometimes pretty good that you might fail the first time you try- so just consider all the things I would have believed I simply ‘couldn’t do’ simply because I ‘failed’ the first time!
Within this, though, there was like a subconscious point of ‘wanting something for free’, like within myself, I had at some point decided that anything that ‘required effort’ I’d rather not bother- or rather, that I’d rather spend my time on things I’m automatically good at, as then I don’t have to waste time and effort on practice and repetition, lol- this from a belief that you can actually get things for free. But we live in a physical reality here, and thus you have to ‘get’ things through space and time. There is no free lunches.
So, realizing this basic point, that training and practice is required to develop a skill- has been immensely supportive, in that now I simply apply myself within what I’m training- realizing that I’ll only ‘get to that point’ of being effective, through the 1+1 actions I take on a regular basis, to hone and develop the skill. So now I am no longer actually wasting trying and ‘failing’ and judging myself as ‘a failure’, but am using my time effectively to practice and expand myself into and as this skill.
And within this, also discovering that the things I had previously ‘failed’ at are now open for me to try again, and see if it is simply a matter of requiring more practice and training on that specific point- so, now I’m finding I can do things that I once thought I simply couldn’t! How cool is that!
I am eternally grateful to the support I’ve received from those at Desteni and the Desteni I Process that I’ve been walking, which has assisted me with these realizations and applying them in my daily life, to be able to live practically and effectively and no longer diminish myself within accepting limitations- but to Expand myself in all ways- within this physical existence here, and be a Real, Effective human being Here- which is what I’d always wanted but never thought I could be!
The Desteni I Process is open to all who would like to commit themselves to themselves- to Expand oneself beyond the perceived limitations of the mind – and achieve one’s full Potential and Live for Real!